My Journey to Alternative Pathfinders
It is no coincidence that I am studying My Life’s Purpose at this point in my journey for I have struggled with this question for the last 15 years, if not my whole life. Yes, I do believe I set this path before I was born and it came into greater focus in 1999 when I started really searching and learning about the spiritual side of my life.
Every step I have taken, every dead end I have hit, all my successes and failures have lead me to where I am today. My Life’s Purpose is opening ever wider and I am beginning to step through the doorway to this new adventure and meditation has helped confirm my inner knowing.
When I envision myself fulfilling my Life’s Purpose, I see myself greeting people and seeing them through God’s eyes. I see myself sharing what I know and believe, not only in small group settings but in large venues also. I share myself in spoken and written word. At this, the ego part of me starts to cringe at the thought and I hear a fearful voice in my head say, “Are you kidding? Who do you think you are? Why would you want that responsibility??”, but I realize, I must look past my fearful ego and look into my Soul as it begins to vibrate with new energy at the vision before me. Here I feel alive, free, energized, and more powerful than I’ve felt in my whole life. It is like an electrical current that ignites every cell of my body, the physical lines blur and I seem to float as if gravity, or the earthly realm, can no longer contain me.
This feeling is not new to me for I have felt it when I am speaking to a group and suddenly, I let go, allowing Spirit/God/Universal Truth to speak through me. I not only can feel a wonderful power surge within me but can see that I am finally speaking “My Truth” for I can see it in the eyes of those to whom I am speaking and I feel the energy in the air. When this happens, my ego lets go of its fear, and when Spirit is finished, I hear my ego’s voice say, “Wow, what a ride!!” Only to step in again with doubt when another opportunity arises, once again, focusing on the fear of rejections instead of the wonder of success. Here is my work. The more I push through ego’s fear and stand in my truth, the more I remember my successes and that wonderful ride. It’s not a feeling of power over others, its the power of being true to myself and the possibility, no, the inner-knowing that I’m making a difference in the world. ;o)
My Life’s Purpose started to come to fruition when I was asked to help form a Spiritual Group for those who are looking for a home. A place where one can feel heard and share their hopes, dreams and beliefs without fear of judgment or condemnation. A community where one can discover, learn, grow and know, they are not alone. When this group began to disperse, I once again allowed my thoughts to question “What was I thinking, I’m not really good enough for this anyway”, but I kept my mind open and knew Spirit was in the lead.
Soon my name was given to the Performing Arts Center Coordinator of our public library here in Las Vegas as a possible speaker to present a talk on Aromatherapy. This sent my ego into a panic as the questions raced through my brain: Can I do this? Am I really qualified? Do I have the experience? etc. Which lead me to sit down, once again, with the Life’s Purpose meditation to answer these questions. It was not long before the flurry of doubt was pushed out by Spirit, reminding me that I have spoken and sung before audiences as small at 10 people and as large as a few hundred multiple times over the last 20 years. I was also reminded that I have take a 425hr Certified Clinical Master Aromatherapy course to learn the history, chemical make-up Essential Oils, safe use, anatomy and physiology, botany, etc. and have used this knowledge on myself and others with great success (including my husband who is trying very hard to stick to his old beliefs and deny that alternative methods of healing work, even when the oils have brought him relief when conventional medicine had not ;o) So, Yes, I could say I’m qualified!
This quickly led to where I am today, with my own company “Alternative Pathfinders.” Here I am able to put all the skills I’ve learned on my journey to good use. Helping others discover their life path, teaching about Aromatherapy and seeing others finding the joy of connecting with themselves and their own spirits call, fills my heart with pride. By putting one foot in front of the other and trusting the call within me, through the doubts, discouragement of friends and family, and old beliefs that were not mine but ones I had learned as I grew from a small child, I am able to do what I’ve always loved to do: Help others discover how wonderful they are.
How quickly we doubt ourselves when the knowledge and truth are within us. Now, as I meditate and quiet the mind, I go down memory lane and realize all I have learned and accomplished over the years. This makes me wonder why I question my path and my purpose. Universe has always provided the next step and all I need to do is place my foot upon it and away we go.
I still have to work on releasing the fear of rejection and continue knowing that when I follow my inner-guidance, I will not be lead astray. Perhaps that is a lifelong challenge. But with each step I take, it becomes easier and easier to let go of the fear and go with the inner-guidance that keeps leading me forward. If I should fail, I can take what I have learned about the process and about myself and use it as I set out on my next adventure.